Friday, April 6, 2012

Mom guilt already?

There are a lot of things running through my head these days....and sometimes my irrational side just takes over! Don't get me wrong,  I love being pregnant....maybe this is because so far I have been blessed with a pretty easy pregnancy! I expected the hormones to make me a crazy, crying, bumbling mess 90% of the time. Even my husband admits that there have been far fewer of 'those' moments than he expected too! That being said though....I must admit that there have been a few times in this pregnancy where the pressure of growing a human being inside me has really gotten to me and I have become a crazy,crying,bumbling mess. In the moment it feels rational.... I mean....I could screw this up before she even makes it to the world! However, looking back at my biggest 'mom-guilt' moments I do realize that they were probably hormone-fueled and definitely irrational....but luckily Ty was there to talk some sense into me and give me some much needed perspective!

Biggest 'mom-guilt' moments so far:
  • Dang....forgot my prenatal vitamins again and now clearly my baby will be stupid. Why can't I just remember to take a vitamin? This baby is counting on me and I can't even remember to take my vitamins everyday....I can't do this!!
  • I ate a hot dog.....therefore I will get listeriosis and cause great harm to my baby (this actually brought me to hysterical tears one day). Was eating a hot dog really worth the risk? I can't believe that I put eating a hot dog because I felt like one at higher priority than my baby's health! I am a horrible mother already!!
  • I drink a cup of coffee a day....sometimes I also have a few cups of decaf which apparently also has some caffeine in it (who knew?). What if my need for caffeine results in my baby being preterm, or low birth weight and it will be all my fault!! I read that caffeine is ok in small amounts during pregnancy and I thought I was doing pretty well....but then I read in US Weekly that Jennifer Garner 'doesn't drink ANY caffeine but allows herself a special treat of a decaf latte or two per pregnancy'! PER pregnancy?? I can't even count how many decaf lattes I have had in this pregnancy and thought I was being so responsible because they weren't caffeinated lattes! Does this make me a horrible mother already too??
Who knew that mom guilt started already? Why am I being so hard on myself? In these moments, the pressure to do everything right isn't coming from the outside...it's coming from me. I am trying to do all the 'right' things and make the best home for my baby as she grows and get all the 'right' things so I am prepared for once she's here....not to mention reading books upon books so I can have the least stressful birth experience possible, making her transition into the world as smooth as I can! 

In my more rational moments I am able to see that I am doing the best I can and I am not going to be perfect. I will make mistakes and that's ok! Everyone has an opinion and I am open to advice from other moms who have been here before, but in the end I need to trust myself and find my own way in this exciting, confusing, frustrating and rewarding journey through motherhood. There is so much to be scared about or feel guilty about if you let those thoughts take over, and I am so lucky I have a husband to remind me in those weak moments that we can do this! 

♥ Lindsay

2 comments:

  1. Have a drink and everything will be better, Linds ;) You're going to be an awesome moms!

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    1. Umm thanks!! Probably won't have a drink but I am feeling more relaxed for the most part!! Who is this by the way???

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